Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize