are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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