I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
