As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
