whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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