WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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