Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
