Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
