:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
