is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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