Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
