I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
