yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
