I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
