After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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