He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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