i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize