He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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