im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
