Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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