At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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