didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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