I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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