I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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