I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
