I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
