put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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