NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
