real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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