Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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