So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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