I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
