dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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