So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
