I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
barbara walters just said penis...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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