he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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