lets start a swedish sibling band together
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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