hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
