why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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