She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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