my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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