It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
