Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
