I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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