She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
