my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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