just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
