Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Non-Jews are for practice
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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