I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
