I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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