Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
