Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
is it fun? or sober?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
