Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
