So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
