I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize