Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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