The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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