K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
