She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There r osticjed everywhere
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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