You can't special order awesome
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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